Luke 16:18 -“Everyone who divorces
his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman
divorced from her husband commits adultery.”
I
imagine that some of you reading this are in the midst of real pain coming from
a disappointing marriage. What started as stars in your spouse’s eyes at the
altar have turned into flames of seething anger. You anticipated a life of
blissful companionship. Instead, you now seem to live with a stranger or an
enemy. Some of you may be settling for endurance to save yourselves from the
shame that would accompany divorce. Others may be looking at separation as the
only way you can possibly imagine a positive future. They think, “I have
married the wrong person. The right one must still be out there somewhere.” To
those in that situation, Jesus’ words can seem cruel.
Some
have tried to soften them by pointing out that Jesus’ concern and compassion
was for the divorced Jewish woman who would be ostracized and impoverished for
the rest of her life while her ex was free to remarry. We know Jesus was
compassionate for those without a voice of their own, but we do not want to
slide past the obvious too quickly. Over and over throughout scripture, God
makes known his plan for marriage has always been one man and one woman together
for a lifetime. That may not be a cool and fashionable definition in our day,
but God set it up long before our culture came up with its own definition.
Those
in the midst of a painful marriage may wonder how Jesus could be so cruel as to
want them to remain in pain. He does not. There are far too many self-obsessed,
cruel people out there, and I do not condemn those who have been through
divorce. Yet for those considering that option, escaping the marriage is not usually
the best way to escape pain. Pain can be found everywhere. Jesus’ solution is forgiveness,
healing, and restoration.
Some
who know my wife and me have commented on the joy we obviously experience in
our marriage. That is true. There is nothing like spending your life with your
best friend and one human desire. Yet, our marriage has not been trouble free,
and it is still far from perfect. Hollywood has deceived us. A great marriage
does not come from finding the right person. It comes from two committed to
working together to become the right people. Happily ever after requires self-sacrifice,
communication, working through issues, saying no to ourselves and yes to our
spouse. It may require outside help at times, but at the end of the road -
though it will get bumpy at times – there is nothing better than standing
together with your lifelong partner.
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